Jagex Mountain

From the UnRuneScape Wiki, the wiki devoted to all things PruneScape!

WTF? The user who wrote this was apparently needling when they wrote this article.

This picture was taken by someone who stood outside Jagex Mountain and then died soon after; it is said the photographer of this picture somehow died of AIDS. It is much likely that the cause was the amount of horny level-138½ she-males outside the mountain.

A more detailed image of Jagex Mountain, note how it fires its laser more visibly than the image above.

The Jagex Mountain, also stupidly referred to as Jagex HQ, is where the Jagex prunes work on a daily basis, Unupdating the games to supposedly better versions, for example what they spew in their weekly updates.

[edit] Features of the Mountain

Outside at the base of the mountain, is a portal leading to and from the world of Gielinor. In the game RuneScape, it is first used the Eagles' Leak quest and later used in other quests. Also at the base is a trampoline that Jagex Moderators can use during their lunch-breaks and a few skeletons of people who died from AIDS.

Moving up, at about half-way is a gaping hole that is the entrance to a series of caves. Inside the caves is the nest of the fabled (and enslaved) creature, Mod Raven. Entering her territory is extremely dangerous as she could return at any time and peck your eyes out. Also living the caves are not-so-important creatures such as a Griffin, Sphinx, Chimera and the Manticore. You know, all the 'fusion' creatures. The ugly ones.

Near the top is the actual entrance to Jagex HQ and the rest of Jagex's property. It is a mess of wires, webcams, unspeakable websites, conspicuous viruses, malware, spyware and trojan horses. Jagex uses this crap these tools to wreck the game and make it worse than ever add popular and long-awaited content that causes the 'fans' to quit makes the fans happy and docile. Entrance is strictly denied and two dumbass competent guards, Mod Barbara and Mod Ashlee B make-out in front of the entrance stop anyone from getting in to the TOP SECRET area.

At the very summit of the Mountain lives a magic wizard thought to be Andrew Gower's grandfather. He will impart no great knowledge to those climb perilous heights to visit him. How he got there is unknown; though he may have been dropped off by helicopter, one of Real Life's many vehicles.

There is also a helipad for when the United Kingdom government recognises the existense of Jagex and thus tries to annex it due to its appalling human rights record. There is only one helicopter for the Gower Brothers, Mod MiMiG and Mod Vince (formerly Mod Craddock), so the rest of the staff will either have to surrender or take a chance with the killer precipes outside the mountain. None of the Jagex drones can explain how this is in the spirit of Communism.

Thus concludes the written tour of Jagex Mountain. Thank you, don't come again if you know what's good for you.